the intake process

The first step toward becoming one of my group members is to email me and set up a free 30-minute Zoom consultation. These introductory conversations are your chance to ask me questions about group and for me to get a sense of what you’re hoping to experience (or not) in group.

If we both decide that it feels appropriate to move forward, then we’ll schedule the one-on-one intake sessions. I ask that anyone who wants to join a group meets with me for at least two intakes, and perhaps several more if they’ve never done therapy before.

In these sessions we will continue to explore your hopes and fears around the group experience, and I will gather some of your relational history, especially regarding your original group—your family. Process groups often set the stage for reenactments of old family dynamics, and it’s helpful for me to know something about your roles, past and present, in that context.

The intakes are also a chance for us to practice relating to each other in the here and now, so you can get a taste of what that’s like before entering the group. To facilitate this way of relating, I might ask what you’re noticing on a sensation level while talking about a certain aspect of your history, how you imagine I’m feeling as you talk, or what you’re hoping I might say in response. And when it seems appropriate, I might share the feelings, associations, and impulses arising in me as I sit with you.

once you’re in a group…

  • Entering a group space can—and ideally should—feel like stepping into another world. I like to borrow from Martin Buber and call it the You-World, with everything outside that space being the It-World. Learning how to participate in this world is akin to learning a new language and culture, and it can take quite awhile. If you’re not showing up in the ways you’d envisioned, be patient with yourself. This way of being takes lots of practice. Indeed, it is a practice, and it can’t be rushed.

  • It’s normal to feel ambivalent about group, because group is weird, sometimes boring (unless you change that by saying you’re bored!), and often very difficult. Ambivalence about the experience is golden grist for the mill, and talking about it on a regular basis is strongly encouraged.

  • Your intention can be specific (I’m going to tell so-and-so how they impacted me last week) or more vague (I’m going to pay attention to how I’m feeling the entire time and not zone out)—either way it will enhance your experience and allow you to be more present. You’re paying good money for every session, and part of the reason for that fee is that it’s motivating. Is the experience going to be worth $50 if you don’t take a single risk or do anything new? Perhaps. But chances are it’ll be invaluable if you do.

  • I love working with group members one-on-one. Seeing how clients show up in group greatly enhances my individual work with them, and it gives them a chance to process any personal material that the group has helped illuminate. Of course, it’s best if a lot of that material is explored in the group, but there are times when it makes more sense to have a whole session to yourself for exploring personal issues/challenges. Some group members meet with me on a weekly or biweekly basis, while others prefer a monthly session to process how the group is going, and others just reach out sporadically, as needed. I’m here for it!